A random day of sadness

 

how do you live with a pain that that stays with you all the time, every minute every sec. It doesn't go and it hurt you till the moment you are not yourself.

it keeps bleeding you, hurt you and damage you to the core.

Your soul tries to save itself from the damage but you almost loose everything in doing it. What is the point of saving that soul that has lost everything ? It is already scared and can't be the joy it used to be. 

Can that soul sacrifice itself for the joy of others. Should be it be useful when it can't be anything itself.

Why can't we save and preserve our happines. why it has to go through so much pain before the end comes. 

You know this pain is going to damage everything inside you. You may end up being a pain for the others. The one who can only give this pain to others. The one who is so scared that he can no longer see what he has become and what he is doing to others. Only spreading his pain can releive him of the agony he is going through. The soul becomes the victim and the source of the darkness.

I still wish to save everyone from the pain. My soul is still intact. I can repair it by helping others and giving them the time to heal themselves. A strong soul can help and heal as many it wants.

But who am I. And where do I lie. Can I seek help ! 

current trouble

I wanna dazzel......i mean i wanna turn the ideas inside me into reality.......i wanna bring it on, fight the odds like i did before when i made the rocket. The only problem is that i don have anyone with me this time like i had before. I miss my friend today, he had thousand habits that i didn like but he was inventive.
As soon as i entered the college i found boys searching for girls, nobody worried about career and those who did care abt career had marks and nothing else on mind. I still have hope maybe someday someone might come and we might start thinking again.

My friend is dying

I met her on the net, with her nature, with he habits she looked exactly like me. A fabulous poet she told me that i can call her with the name 'Priya' but this is not her real name. She had an orkut account with lots of pics but none was hers. She told me about her life, her boyfriend and lots of things but still she was a stranger. It looked like she hardly loved anything in life. She turned out to be a mystery.

One day she wrote a poem " Cancer loves me", a simple poem but strong enough to tear open your heart. Things became clear to me and I got all my answers. Our friendship continued and we kept sending poems to each other, admired each others work. After about one and a half years of friendship yesterday she sent me a mail and i don know how to interpret that.

she wrote that this is her last message to me. She is closing her account, she wont come back. She is sorry that she is doing such a foolish thing but she has to do it, its time. I think I know why she did that, I am loosing the only friend who ever wrote a poem for me
She writes""

Life's Definition

Its the bottom of the sea

Everything is dark in here

Nothing is beautiful, nothings bright

Everything is just dark

Time is inconstant

No past no future

The time is cold

No hope no desire

Just the chill of fire

Death lives here

An undefined world of infinity

A black world of abrupt silence

Why did i leave that world where i was born?

Why did i not swim?

Maybe leaving is easier than living?

I know this is a blog butt this is how I wanna start